[Prev][Next][Index][Thread]

(IAAC) Top 16 Improvements to the Hubble Telescope



[Hope this isn't a repeat... Clear skies! -Lew]
>To: ed@aixdev.kronos.com
>From: top5@lists.zdnet.com
>Priority: normal
>Subject: Top5 - 2/19/97 - Improvements to the Hubble Telescope
>Errors-To: top5-errors@lists.zdnet.com
>Date: Wed, 19 Feb 1997 12:39:28 MST
>Sender: ed@aixdev.kronos.com
>
>            _____________________________________  
>  _________|                                     |________  
>  \        |         The Top Five List           |       /  
>   \       |          www.topfive.com            |      /  
>    \      |                                     |     /  
>     \     |     Sponsored by Windows Sources    |    /  
>      >    |         www.winsources.com          |   <  
>     /     |                                     |    \  
>    /      |          February 19, 1997          |     \  
>   /       |_____________________________________|      \  
>  /___________)                               (__________\  
>  
>  
>      The Top 16 Improvements to the Hubble Telescope  
>  
>  
>16> Special 1-hour lenses from Lenscrafters now allow it to see 
>    really, REALLY, *REALLY* far.  
>  
>15> SBTS (Shapely Buttocks Targeting System) enhances astronomers'
>    lonely evenings.  
>  
>14> New Super Big Gulp size cup holder and one of those little 
>    pine tree air fresheners.  
>  
>13> When pointed toward earth, it can... HEY, YOU!!!  IN THE RED 
>    SHIRT!  STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE!  
>  
>12> Bitchin' speaker stacks that blast "We Will Rock You" when 
>    orbiting over Iraq.  
>  
>11> Special kaleidoscope attachment for when the acid kicks in.  
>  
>10> After 3 years and over $50 million of troubleshooting, they 
>    finally removed the lens cap.  
>  
> 9> Warning on lens mirror now reads: "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE 
>    LIGHTYEARS CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR."  
>  
> 8> Gigantic Louisville Slugger installed to protect earth against
>    asteroids.  
>  
> 7> "Toy Surprise" built into every new piece, for that day when 
>    they plummet to Earth.  
>  
> 6> By focusing huge magnifying glass, scientists can burn ants 
>    with pinpoint accuracy.  
>  
> 5> Much improved reception on the All-Alien-Sex channel.  
>  
> 4> New enhancement lets you record one galaxy while watching 
>    another.  
>  
> 3> Corrective lenses have giant mustache and fake nose attached 
>    for "Groucho" effect.  
>  
> 2> The new guy in charge of focus and zoom?  Larry Flynt.  
>  
>  
>    and the Number 1 Improvement to the Hubble Telescope...  
>  
>  
> 1> "Gigantic Impending Earth-Destroying Asteroid" scraped off lens
>    and put back in gum wrapper foil; Russians warned about further
>    practical jokes.  
>  
>  
>   [ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]  
>   [  *To forward or repost, please include this section.*  ]  
>   [ The Top Five List    top5@walrus.com   www.topfive.com ]  
>  
>  
>Selected from 127 submissions from 45 contributors.  
>Today's Top Five List authors are:  
>----------------------------------------------------------------  
>David W. James, Los Angeles, CA      --  1  (7th #1)
>Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA        --  2, 10  
>Marianne Tatom, Austin, TX           --  3  
>Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL            --  4  
>Jennifer Bieneman, Grand Rapids, MI  --  5  
>Paul Seaburn, Houston, TX            --  6, 8  
>Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA         --  6, 15  
>Phil Doyle, Mercer Island, WA        --  6  
>Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL            --  6  
>R.M. Weiner, Brighton, MA            --  7  
>Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX         --  8  
>Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA         --  9  
>Sam Evans, Charleston, SC            --  9  (Hall of Famer)  
>George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO   -- 10  
>Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL       -- 11  
>Kim Moser, New York, NY              -- 11  
>Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA          -- 11  
>Jeff Downey, Raleigh, NC             -- 12, 14  
>David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO      -- 13, Topic  
>Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA              -- 14  
>Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC       -- 16  
>Kris Johnson, Burbank, CA            -- 16  
>Chris White, New York, NY            -- List owner/editor  
>----------------------------------------------------------------  
>        Today's Runners Up list, "Hubba, Hubba!",  
>   can be found at our website: http://www.topfive.com  
>================================================================  
>  
>              *** Windows Sources Spotlight ***  
>            Has a company or product got you down? 
>           Was tech support not supportive at all? 
>          Tell us your story and the Windows Sources 
>              Ombudsman will go to bat for you!  
>                at http://www.winsources.com.
> 
>================================================================  
>            T H E   T O P   F I V E   L I S T  
>To subscribe:    Send mail to top5-on@lists.zdnet.com  
>To unsubscribe:  Send mail to top5-off@lists.zdnet.com  
>For more information: Send mail to top5@walrus.com  
>    with "INFO" in the *subject* line of the message.  
>To report a sighting of a Top Five List in other media:  
>    Send mail to top5@walrus.com with "BINGO!" in the *subject*.  
>================================================================  
>  
>                   Ruminations & Ponderances  
>
>           If ignorance is bliss then I must be the 
>        happiest thingamajigee in the whatchamacallit!
>  
>                    (Thanks to R.M. Weiner)  
>  
>================================================================  
>The Top Five List                         http://www.topfive.com  
>Sponsored by Windows Sources           http://www.winsources.com  
>This delivery powered by Mercury Mail, Inc.  http://www.merc.com